Inaugural Speech

"Perseus with the head of Medusa" by Benvenuto Cellini (1500-1571), Loggia dei Lanzi, Florence

When you got up this morning I bet you didn’t know that today we would be tackling one of the most significant questions in the history of humankind, which has kept many a genius frantically searching for answers and gasping for breath like a freshwater trout spasming in the iron grip of the noble kingfisher’s beak. But why so soon, you might ask. Will my stunningly enlightening blog jump the shark before it has really taken off? Have I shot my proverbial chimp to the moon without properly checking the cabin pressure? “Away from me, Satan!” I say unto you, for it is written to read and worship this blog and this blog only, and to bow your head in servile thanks to the great benefactor who has provided it to you in a selfless act of supreme benevolence.

As the arduous task of illuminating the sweaty masses has befallen me both by divine providence and simple chance, I will define myth for you in this exalted instalment of what is fast becoming the most relevant piece of writing in the information age. Lest you can converse with the numerous higher realities on the required level of harmonic oscillation, feast your eyes hither for a handful of minutes and experience the sudden tremor and awesome turmoil of the unveiling of ultimate truth, as your intellect is being catapulted into the multiplicity of angelic realities, drenched in bright, effulgent psychedelic colour symphonies and accompanied by the soft, peaceful hum of refrigerator trucks overrunning flocks of goslings in the distance. Behold the magnificent whirling wheels  of the glorious cherubim bouncing to and fro and sparkling with radiant topaz as their innumerable eyes gaze at the perfection of creation and their solemn wings reach upward to sustain the throne of God. And all this still for free! Gratis! Costless! No charge! For nothing! On the house!

So let’s get to it then, if your eagerness has not already caused you to short-circuit your computer by way of the copious amounts of drool pouring forth from your hungry mouth now that the floodgates of cerebral reception have been set wide open.

The word “myth” derives from the Greek, mythos, which can mean either “story”, “speech” or “word”. The ancient Greeks liked to distinguish the words of mythos from the logos, which also meant “word” (so mythologia/mythology literally comes to mean “words about words”), but in a slightly different way. Myth, or mythos, dealt primarily with existential issues and figurative language, while the logos represented the rational discourse. In ancient times, myth was therefore used in cases where logical, rational language failed to provide satisfactorily answers.  In time, however, logos came to take on the meaning of a statement whose truth could be readily demonstrated, while mythos was reduced to a narrative, fictional function. With even more time, the Greek philosophers began to favor the scientific language of the logos over mythos, and where first the two terms existed in harmony, now they became readily opposed to each other.  Not subject to enough abuse already, myth also came to be contrasted with history, the chronicling of events. We can see this downswing of myth in the translation of the term into Latin, fabula, which eventually led to our word “fable”: a story without any substance of truth, as we now understand it.

So this is the sense in which the common paupers and uncouth barbarians (you are not one of them, I hope!?) use the word myth nowadays: to denote a falsehood or a wrong assumption. Vile, ungainly lies! Myths are not falsifications or deliberate misrepresentations. On the contrary,  they derive truth and importance from the very simple fact that they exist. A myth is not concerned with proving a certain statement, but with providing an appreciation of the world that is meaningful and constructive in itself. Myths are the cornerstones of our societies and the cultural building blocks on which these are built, and they embody, expose and explore a people’s self image. The act of telling a myth and passing it down to other generations assures that it keeps its sacred quality and preserves a society’s view of itself and the world around it. Myths are also therefore never static: they exist in a state of constant change as they often evolve to meet the standards and demands of different times.

We are reaching the ninth heaven now! Myths are usually sacred narratives that involve gods or superhuman beings and deal with explanations of customs, natural events and the origins of the world, and they take place in a different time and world from when they are told. But myth can also be used more loosely to describe a certain conviction or ideology that carries a great deal of importance within a society, like the belief in infinite progress trough science that we get all mushy eyed by.

Cue: apotheosis.

Now go and wash your hands.